Wings Of Desire

Look. Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time. And the fucking WordPress editor has done the same. They changed it, fucking drastically, and it’s a complete and total piece of shit. I have no idea how to work it. I’d like to tell you that this week’s movie was Wings Of Desire, and then link that to the IMDB page. I don’t know how to do that now, as there’s NO FUCKING GUI AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE TO FUCKING CLICK ON. OK, so it looks like I figured that out, but I’m NONE TOO HAPPY about this idiotic new editor. I’m sure I’ll run into issues. I can tell you that our film was shot in 1987 and directed by Wim Wenders, and I’ll bet I can even link his IMBD page (we’ll see!) but that still doesn’t justify this piece of shit editor.

About now is when I’m supposed to tell you about the film, and I usually start by putting in a picture. That picture usually has a snarky caption. How in fuck’s name am I supposed to put a picture in?

I have no fucking idea.

I can put in a Calendly. I don’t fucking know what a Calendly is.

I can put in an Eventbrite Checkout. What the fuck that is will probably be lost to posterity. One thing I can guarantee you is that I have no fucking interest in putting in an Eventbrite Checkout.

Hmm.

I can put in an OpenTable. What the fuck is an OpenTable? Right about fucking now, I’m going to pour myself another drink. I’ve had several on the night already, but little did I know what I was facing.

Let’s see. I can put in a PodCast Player. HOW FUCKING AMAZING! WHAT ABOUT A FUCKING IMAGE?

What about this thing on the 53rd row?

Fuck This Editor

Let me tell you, this is going to be one fucking angry movie review. And that’s a shame, as it’s a fantastic movie.

Wings Of Desire is an amazing movie. Wings Of Desire (entitled “Der Himmel Über Berlin in German) is one of the most remarkable movies I’ve ever seen. That would stand in direct contrast to this new WordPress editor, which is one of the stupidest and least user-friendly “improvements” ever to be thrust onto mankind.

YOU’LL EAT YOUR ICE CREAM! AND YOU’LL LIKE IT!

But anyways.

Wings Of Desire. Remarkable film. Beautiful plumage.

I mean, of all the letters you could pick from, why “T”? Why not “Raspberry Iced M”?

The basic setup of Wings Of Desire is this: There exist, overlooking the city of Berlin, and in consequence presumably overlooking anywhere on Earth, a race of invisible immortal beings so indistinguishable from angels that we ought to call them angels, whose entire existence is devoted to observing the people of Berlin, to share in their thoughts and feelings and joys and trials and sufferings. These angels, patient as they are, have been hanging around Berlin since before it was Berlin – since it was an uninhabited swamp, and presumably since it was a part of Pangaea, and we may as well go even farther back than that. At some point this land was likely underwater. Before that the Earth was null and void, and there was no firmament to separate the waters above from the waters below, and before that we were looking at a dust cloud, the remnant of an ancient supernova, coalescing in space to potentially form a new solar system and all this time these angels were just patiently sitting there and happily composing away on the old version of the WordPress editor THAT MADE COMPLETE FUCKING SENSE. They had a long fucking time to get used to that editor, let me tell you. Æons.

Brazil gives this like 3/10 in terms of usage of empty space. So many more ducts could be installed!

And they liked it. They’d hang out at the Berlin Public Library and they’d invisibly harass the patrons and they’d invisibly log into the terminals (three FEET above the terminals) and they’d spend their dreary eternity writing pæans to the Walled City that nobody would ever read.

Kind of a shitty gig.

At least this movie is only two hours long!

So when an itinerant trapeze artist by the name of “Solveig Dommartin, Wim Wenders’ One And Only Muse” shows up, our friend the angel Damiel (the idiot side of the Sonic commercial) realizes that he’s getting a bit restless.

And all the clocks in all the world would this once just skip a beat, in memory of you. But then again, those damned clocks they probably won’t. Would they, Cassiel?

But that’s not all that’s going on, I mean you’ve got Cassiel accompanying the modern Homer (and a shame we don’t get to read his poetry) by the Berlin Wall and the bombed-out Potsdamer Platz.

Everybody on the same train / Everybody going down to Dublin Ireland

And you’ve got Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds showing off their twentysomething bellies that some of us never had, not even in college, and singing nonsense in preparation for the Anton Barbeau Invasion.

You should have talked to me more often than you did, but NO!

And you’ve got the city of Berlin playing a character of its own, as Cassiel observes it and it subtly sinks its teeth into Damiel.

If only shampoo plus conditioner ever actually worked!

And again you’ve got Damiel falling for the Dommartin muse, falling, falling, and allowing himself to slide ever downwards until…

Sometimes the need is just too great / For the solace we seek / The suit of shining armor / Becomes a keen and bloody sword

…he slips the surly bonds of heaven and touches the face of Earth. Yes, Damiel has become a real boy, and when he lies, his nose doesn’t grow. Equipped only with an outdated set of armor (which he pawns for a hideous plaid coat) Damiel sets out into the cold, cruel, colorful, and ever so sensorially immersive real world.

What would you think if I sang out of tune / Would you stand up and walk out on me?

With a little bit of help from an unexpected friend – it turns out that good ol’ Columbo himself, Peter Falk, is also a fallen angel – Damiel makes his way into the world of the living, has an intense if completely unconvincing encounter with Solveig Dommartin at a bar, and it would appear that they’re on their way to living happily ever after.

The end.

There are quite a few remarkable things about Wings Of Desire which, when added up, make it a real contender for The Best Film Of All Time. I’ll be honest, it’s not Casablanca, but at the same time, when the stewardess announces that it’s time for pre-boarding, Casablanca and Casablanca-worthy films only at this time, when Wings Of Desire steps forward, the stewardess lets it through.

As brutally obvious as it is, the decision to make a distinction between the angelic world in black-and-white and the real world in color was crucial to the gestalt of the film. While we’re on the subject of black-and-white film, one should note that, yes, some of the most visually poignant films in history have been shot in black-and-white, and yes, the cinematographer for Wings Of Desire, Henri Alekan, had made himself known for not only Roman Holiday but also the incomparable Cocteau version of Beauty and the Beast. There’s a reason that Wenders was able to capture the majesty of the city and of the Berlin library, of the unique architecture of the urbs and at the same time capture the angelic and human side of his characters. Alekan MADE this film.

And again, without dismissing Alekan’s role in creating a beautiful piece of art, let’s not dismiss the auteur Wenders, who was so committed to establishing the world of his vision that he managed to make an entire film consisting of nothing but a first act and still made it worth watching. The sequel to Wings Of Desire (Faraway, So Close) is essentially the third act of the film, with the second act only implied, but the genius of Wenders is to make Wings Of Desire stand on its own. I hadn’t seen the film in probably 20 years before presenting it for movie night – in my recollection, Damiel’s “fall” happened about 30 minutes into the film. Nope. It’s maybe 15 minutes before the end of the movie. There is no second and third act here. I wouldn’t argue if you wanted to call Wings Of Desire the longest establishing shot in film history. That’s probably more right than wrong. But as an establishing shot, it is the absolute bar-none epitome of the genre. Take the two hours, turn off your electronics and simply immerse yourself in this film, and you will never regret it.

Unlike this new WordPress editor, which will be regretted until the end of time.